A Gift on Our Five-Year Wedding Anniversary via Love What Matters.
My Bruno has done it again. I’d been asked by Love What Matters (a beautiful publication about real love and good news) to write about finding out about my husband’s death, and how I’ve healed in the aftermath.
Nervous about what might come up, I avoided writing the article for a month and a half, until I couldn’t avoid it any longer. I sat down earlier this week with B and told him, “okay, mi amor. Time to do this. Let’s go.”
What poured out of me (and him) in a couple hours was not at all what I had planned to write. The result was a story about listening to intuition in detecting suicidality, and in healing from it.
As I was writing, I felt him coursing through my body, fueling the entire process and the words that flowed out. At one point I told him, ”I think I need a break.” I felt him relax. I got up for water and walk around the house. Then I sat back down and we finished the last paragraph. When I looked back over it, there was not a single typo, nothing that needed to be changed.
Initially the article was slated to come out in a couple weeks. I thanked the editor and let her know that this felt like an anniversary gift, as our wedding anniversary was coming up (it was yesterday, May 26). She wrote me back and let me know the article had been moved up — to the day of our five-year anniversary.
A similar circumstance happened with an advocacy article that I (we) published on supporting male survivors of childhood sexual abuse. This article was serendipitously released a couple days before Bruno’s birthday, and then featured by the American Society for Suicide Prevention around his two-year passing date (neither outlet was aware of the significance of these release dates).
“It feels like way more than a coincidence,” one of the editors wrote me when I explained it all.
To and from Bruno and me: Here’s to five years married, 15 in love, and infinite lifetimes together, those before and those to come.
And from the both of us, here are our the words from our souls on trusting our intuition in supporting ourselves and others around suicide, as well as trauma overall.
‘My husband, the love of my life, took his life without warning.’: Widow shares healing journey on 5-year wedding anniversary.
Lenore & Bruno
Lenore Matthew, Ph.D., MSW
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